October 2006

So, the Tall Dark Handsome One is on another WEEK LONG fishing trip this week.

Funny how this happens, but the last time he went on a WEEK LONG fishing trip (which happened to be just last month.) (Did I forget to mention that? Well, I think I was a little busy. He went to Vancouver, Canada last month for a WEEK LONG fishing trip. And now he’s on another WEEK LONG fishing trip, but enough with that, I’ll get on with my story…) Janey decided to come down with a fever and I had to stay home from work to take care of her. Now today, while her father is, um, busy doing some very important thing that I won’t mention here, but this very important thing might take him an entire week to finish, she decided to get sick AGAIN.

Luckily she doesn’t have a fever today, but she’s all stuffed up and coughing and asking me to get her a babysitter because she doesn’t feel good.

The problem is, the babysitters are in school.

Speaking of the babysitters, there was a big fight upstairs this morning, something about this one wearing that one’s clothes or that one using this one’s makeup.

Let me just tell you that it wasn’t pretty.

After much yelling, I told Bailey to come downstairs and get ready in the guest bathroom so she didn’t have to breathe the same air as her older sister, thereby suffocating herself with the hatred that was swirling around up there.

Once things calmed down and they stopped clawing out each other’s eyes, Janey and I dropped them off at school and then came back home to figure out what to do about the sick-y situation.

While I was waiting for Janey’s toast to pop up, I walked past the bathroom and noticed an explosion of makeup, hair products, curling irons, hair ties and other beauty-related items sprawled across the bathroom counter. I hesitated for a moment and wondered if I forgot to put my contacts in because Bailey knows that my motto is "Pick Up Your Shit" and she wouldn’t so boldly ignore the golden rule and leave her crap all over the VERY bathroom that I get ready in each morning, would she?

Apparently so.

She even went as far as to denigrate the hand towel. The HAND TOWEL! I mean, what did the hand towel to do her?

(You think this looks bad? You should see the front of the girl’s bathrobe. After she gets out of the shower each morning, she wraps herself in a gorgeously fluffy bathrobe made out of the softest terry cloth you will ever feel, and then proceeds to smear her makeup brushes across the front of it, wiping them off as she goes along, ruining her lovely robe while making herself pretty for school.) (Might I add that the girl was wearing said bathrobe this morning, so why she felt the need to deface the poor helpless hand towel when the already trashed bathrobe would have done just fine, I’ll never know.)

So while we’re peering into the makeup bag that belongs to the family graffiti-ist, let’s take a look at the products she uses. Hmmmm, I don’t see any Maybelline or Cover Girl in there. Do you?

After a quick inventory, I found that she has:

• 6 MAC eyeshadows
• MAC Bronzer
• Lancome Soft-Matte Perfecting Mousse Makeup
• Clinique Gel Eyeliner from their Pink Chocolates Holiday Collection
• Urban Decay Eyeshadow
• Lancome Blush Brush
• Sephora makeup brushes
• Estee Lauder eyeshadows
• Chanel eyeliner
• L’Oreal eyeliner (still unopened)
• Pout mascara
• Estee Lauder sample mascara
• La Roche Posay blemish cream (from the dermatologist)
• MAC blush

Whew! That is an obnoxious amount of makeup for a just turned 13 graffiti girl. I think she needs to do some babysitting.